A Byrd in the Hand and You’ve Got What?
By Uncategorized April 18th, 2006Byrd vs. Klitschko cries out for female commentary
The old saying goes, “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” Wladimir Klitschko, aka Dr. Steel Hammer, will have his hands full of “Rapid Fire” Chris Byrd Saturday night in Mannheim, Germany. This is a heavyweight rematch that cries out for some serious female commentary.
STYLES MAKE FIGHTS
Neither fighter will light up Mannheim this Saturday. Byrd has an aimless, pawing jab that lands somewhere between annoying and prissy, while Klitschko is a heavy-handed puncher who connects often and you realize you’ve been hammered, but he possesses all the grace of William Perry at a Cotillion.
IF LOOKS COULD KILL
These guys would be dead in the water. I am in total agreement with Bert Sugar’s oft-quoted line on the heavyweight division: “In a line-up in their gloves, robes and trunks, NO ONE would pick them out as boxers.” Amen, Bert. And these two sluggers are no exception. Who can mistake Byrd’s lame locks for anything but bad? Nice try, but the champ with the best braids, Lennox Lewis, retired and the proclaimed “linear champion,” Shannon Briggs, is still fighting his way across the United States, riding a streak of knockouts. Heads up, Chris. Wlad on the other hand sports a look so challenging the Fab Five of Queer Eye fame are all rushing to get to Mannheim. How do you make 6’7, 250 pounds look appealing to the general public and not like he belongs in the Rocky Horror Picture Show? If this Dynamic Duo failed to be recognized as boxers they will fail in GQ or Esquire as well.
WAITING IN THE WINGS
Whoever wins this tango Saturday night will have an interesting list of dance partners when they return stateside. Some possible CLASSIC matches to be made here, and I know matchmakers right here in the Sooner state that would maim to make these fights….Wlad versus Nikolay Valuev – Dear God, shades of Ed Wood Jr. Chris Byrd and Nikolay Valuev – slaphappy Byrd would have the same results were he to go bear hunting with a flyswatter. Someone’s going to get pissed off, then some Byrdy will get hurt. After those freak shows are over, it will be “Lights Out” for these two contenders.
Byrd and Klitschko have interesting boxrecs. There’s the drama: Byrd defeated Vitali on April Fool’s Day 2001 by ninth round TKO, then within six months lost to Wladimir by unanimous decision. Some family justice gained there. And boxing makes for familiar bedfellows. Both Wlad and Byrd’s fight resume share some of the same foes, both having done battle with Ross Puritty, Eliecer Castillo, Jameel McCline and DaVarryl Williamson.
But those guys are in the past. All fun and games aside, this is a make it or break it fight for these two heavies – the hardware for the vacant IBO heavyweight title is up for grabs and Byrd is defending his IBF heavyweight crown. I am going out on a limb here and hope Wlad doesn’t saw it off underneath me and lose to Chris Byrd.
Amy Green writes for The Sweet Science
April 18th, 2006 at 6:43 am
Byrd will be fighting in Wlad’s backyard, which already has a reputation of rabbit-out-of-the-hat decisions for the home team. Byrd, who you so well expressed, with his annoying “tag, you’re it” jab.
Does this combination add up to a very impressive 12 round UD?
Maybe, but NOT for Byrd!
Byrd will run around the ring. First, he will try to convince Wlad that he somehow has power since his breakup with DKP. Wlad, on the other hand, will show what new tricks he has learned from his new trainer, HBO guest commentator, the big “E”, Emmanuel Stewart. Unless Chris Byrd makes Wlad quit on his stool like he did with Vitali, it will be a loooonnnnnnngggggg night. “……….and THE N E W IBF/IBO heavyweight……..”(you know the rest).
April 18th, 2006 at 9:31 am
wlad will drop the hammer on bryd. it will be a one-sided slaughter much like the first fight.
April 18th, 2006 at 10:51 am
Klitschko by impressive knockout in 8 rounds or less. Finally getting in the ring with a fighter that has nothing to offer (Klitschko has never been outboxed, and Byrd possesses none of the commodities that have ever been successful against Klitschko before), fans will see Klitschko much more willing to let his hands go than he did against the much more dangerous Nigerian Nightmare.
Byrd can’t fight Wladimir from the outside, because of the size difference and Klitschko’s piston-like jab. If Byrd ever did avoid the jab, and any oncoming fire while bobing and weaving his way inside, he’d only be met with a bear hug that had Sam Peter tied up and useless, and needless to say, Peter is a much bigger, stronger, harder punching fighter than Byrd.
All this talk about stamina or chin issues is bullshit, most of it contrived from the American-based media. A guy like Brock gets knocked down by a fringe pretender named Jameel McCline (who by the way went life and death with Byrd, who would have danced around McCline at the turn of the century when he was making guys like David Tua look stupid), and the press claims Brock showed his toughness, heart, chin, and balls. They hail him as the great American hope.
Klitschko gets dropped by one of the best punchers in the division, Sanders, and then Peter, and people say he is chinless? Give me a break.
Not only will Klitschko beat Byrd with a new found vengeance this weekend, but he’ll be the best heavyweight with a belt, and all those who said the guy was washed up after two fights, are going to have to starve themselves, to eat all the sh– they’ll have coming.
Serves them right, they said the same thing of Erik Morales and Marco Antonion Barrera, heck they insisted Jeff Lacy would cream Calzaghe, so, no, I’m not apt to simpy agree with my staff of peers simply because the current ‘thing to do’ is to bash a fighter.
It’s not objective and it’s not professional, and as a result, there will be alot of writers feeling a little awkward as they try to come to grips with how they could have gotten it all wrong, and the answer is simple, they didn’t think for themselves, they read a Michael Katz article or a joe shmoe article and then mimicked one of their own.
Unoriginal, and off the mark, what would be original is the pieces from authors trying to explain how in the world they were so dead wrong amid their unwitty pot shots at such fighters when they’re down.
April 18th, 2006 at 11:26 pm
With that said, this author’s article is completely original in the sense it picks on the looks of each fighter, but truth be told, Wladimir is going to kick some ass, and those with a nose should have been able to smell this coming.